一念地狱一念天堂

适逢居家隔离满月,晚上借着微醺的酒意,来跟大家分享新近的一些观察和思考。回望过往几年,很多事让我始料未及——亲朋离世、疫情反复、意外骨折、外派遇阻……我开始更深刻地认同和接受「诸行无常」

我们存活于世是有条件的,而有条件的事物往往变化无常。正是因为无常,人容易产生各种各样情绪。情绪的波动又让我们产生偏见、执念和分别心,以致陷入困惑和苦恼。人无法与情绪脱节,那么面对困境我们又有哪些出路呢?

拿上海当下的封城来说,这就是一个困局。许多生活和工作中的挑战亟需借助外力来解决,但也有不少困难可以通过「转念」来应对。

什么是「转念」?大家是否还记得,早年推出的几款 iPod 都是不锈钢背壳的?2004 年的圣诞节,我做梦也没有想到照片里的 iPod 会是父母送给我的新年礼物。在 MP3 随身听还是用「兆」作为存储单位的年代,iPod 那时的 20 GB 显得非常阔绰。我对它爱不释手,每天揣在兜里形影不离。久而久之,不锈钢背壳和口袋里的硬币、钥匙摩擦,留下了许多印迹。那个起初完美无瑕的 iPod 看着真是「遍体鳞伤」,这令我非常后悔没有给它套上个保护壳……机缘巧合下,我读到了乔布斯的一段话,他说生命的意义在于 「making a dent in the universe」 (在宇宙中创造属于你的印记)。原来早在产品开发阶段,乔布斯就知道不锈钢容易刮花。而这背壳材料的选择是他力排众议、刻意而为之的。他解释道:「刮花背壳使得你的 iPod 独一无二,留下了只属于你的烙印。」说来也神奇,自此往后,我再也没有因为印迹斑斑的 iPod 而纠结难过。先前恼人的划痕反而因为是我的「dents」而越看越顺眼了。

此时你的心里是否在嘀咕,这「转念」不就是阿 Q 的精神胜利法吗?我想它俩是有相似之处的——看待事物的角度变了,心境也就随之改变;但本质上,它们又是不同的。「转念」不是为了自我麻痹和陶醉,而是为了追求意义和发展。

在科技互联网公司,我们常常会听到一句话:「It’s not a bug, it’s a feature!」(这不是问题,是卖点!)。这周我跟加州的老板连线,她也分享了类似的观点:「If you can not fix it, make it a feature!」(如果改变不了它,就将它利用起来!)身处在居家隔离中的我们,足不能出户,食不能果腹……该如何「转念」才能拥抱现状、找到破局的出口呢?
限制性条件其实是把双刃剑,它带来束缚,也可以促进创新。新鲜的蔬菜瓜果现在的确采购困难,但相信多数上海市民还没有窘迫到「无米之炊」的地步,我们不妨利用接下来几周尝试些新食谱——让不曾混搭的食材去组合,用同样的食材配合不一样的烹饪。再比如,许多男生也许和我一样每隔两三周就得理一次发(我本身发量有限,如果长长了就会显得头顶稀疏)。现在小区封闭管理,距离我上次理发已逾六周。看着我两鬓「长势如虹」,头顶却「巍然不动」,再这么发展下去,讲不准哪天我就拿起剃刀,培养出「理发」这门新手艺了。

玩笑归玩笑,我相信若干年后再回想起这个把月的居家隔离,我们中不少人会追忆和怀念。老中青三代同堂、抬头不见低头见的亲密时光人生中又有多少?特别是对于那些全身心扑在事业上的创业奋斗者,过往峥嵘岁月中哪有如此「着家」?而对于那些独居的单身男女们,习惯了都市的喧嚣和快节奏的生活,可否也曾想要一段「向内走」的静谧时光?还有平时很少打交道的邻居们,是否也因为这段封城的日子而彼此熟络起来了?
「转念」一想,居家隔离似乎也没有那么糟?!

P.S. 推文图片来自好友老张。借此也特别感谢疫情期间探望慰问的朋友们!祝大家健康平安!🙏

在数字生活中做减法

数字化浪潮袭来,没有人能够独善其身。我们不再是单纯地使用「电子产品」,而是逐渐成为了「产品」本身。互联网巨头们竞相争夺我们的注意力,在这过程中暴露出诸多人性的软肋:我们对程序里「间歇式奖励」欲罢不能,如同面对赌场中的老虎机,不厌其烦地点击和滑动屏幕;我们不假思索地行动,很少掂量背后所付出的「时间成本」;但凡长时间离线就会担心错过重要讯息。

开始远程办公的新常态后,我愈加能感受到长期面对屏幕的危害。久而久之,圆肩驼背、注意力涣散、烦躁焦虑等症状会接踵而至。当我尝试减少使用电子产品后,「深度工作」的效率反而提升了,亲子和社交质量也得到了改善。合上了屏幕回到物理世界,我重拾了吉他,爱上了航拍,回归了纸质书阅读,还养成了「放空」的习惯。激发我做出一系列改变的是一本名为「Digital Minimalism」的书。在践行数字极简主义半年后,我归纳出三条贴士,希望帮助更多人收复「注意力失地」。

要事第一

那些扑面而来的推送消息是否让你不堪其扰?闲下来时 ,你是否也会盲目地刷微博、抖音和朋友圈?我们需要化被动为主动,提前规划好时间,找到生活中的「锚点」。一个简单又行之有效的方法就是清早起来先为「今日要事」创建日程和清单。在每个日程时段,我们要力求心无旁骛,制心于一处。iOS/macOS/watchOS 中的「专注模式」值得常开,它可以帮助我们过滤通知,显著减少移动互联网的侵扰。

刻意留白

不论年纪,我们都需要在所处场域中找到一个容器,凿出一段属于自己的时间,与无孔不入的信息流做短暂的切割。留白的时光能让心静下来,帮助我们「向内走」。半年前,我开始尝试把散步时耳机里的播客换成古典音乐,再到后来索性轻装上路,将耳机和手机都留在家里。刚开始这么做时容易进入难以忍受的无聊状态,但稍加时日会有所缓解。坚持了数月后,我开始享受这每天 1 小时 7 公里的「无数字化独处」,身心都获得了更好的放松。

取舍有道

人最宝贵的资源是时间,它在「纷扰」中折叠,在「心流」中延展。要想从「低头族」和「屏幕控」中真正解脱出来,我们还要从源头抓起。建议大家尝试删除或折叠微信群,定期清理联系人,同类别的 App 只留下一个,用纸质书来替代电子书……「更少但更好」会让人变得专注和高效,而舍弃的东西其实并不会让我们真正错过什么。要相信重要的信息总会想办法找到我们,而更好的渠道恰恰是面对面的沟通。

数字极简主义的核心是以人为本,它不是「去数字化」而是「为数字生活做优化」。通过减少「数字噪音」和限制「屏幕时长」,目的是让科技真正助力我们创造价值和享受生活。这篇短文只想抛砖引玉,欢迎大家留言交流自己在数字生活中所做的减法。

Simplifying to Amplify

Words by Carl Phillips

I believe deeply in the power of simplicity. It’s become a passionate subject for me. One I have written many articles and books about. Broader than this, it’s become a framework for how I try to live. Something I am always seeking to bring into my life.  

One part of this simplicity journey is about discarding. Finding ways to remove things from our lives. Whether they be possessions, commitments, toxic relationships, or something else we realise is dragging us down. Reduction is an important step.  

But it’s just a step.  

I find some people stay here. They obsess over how to remove things. Sometimes they remove too much. That’s not the point of minimalism, at least not for me.

Simplicity is a tool, a tool that should improve our lives. A paradox is that as we remove that which does not matter to us, we receive something else back. That something else is making space for the things that matter most to us. Things that bring us joy and give us energy.

We may even develop an abundance mindset through this experience.  

What does this look like?  

We learn to see the opportunity, where others only see a change for the worse.

We make space for small, simple pleasures in our every day. So that we can come back to them, over and over.  

We establish self-care practices—to replenish our reserves when we need them most.  

We slow down to speed up.

We give thanks for the small but meaningful moments. Establishing a gratitude practice.  

For me, this is where to real treasure is. Not in the bare shelves or stripped-down wardrobes. Simplifying our lives is not so much about what we give up. It’s about what we get back.

We simplify our life to amplify our experience of it.

Wabi-Sabi

Life is unpredictable. And that’s okay. Embrace it.

When nothing is certain, everything is possible!

Your plans for tomorrow, next month or next year may not unfold as you expect. But it’s important to make plans and move on.

Landon Donovan once said, “Life isn’t perfect, of course, but we all know it’s how you react to things that counts.”

Imperfection is the basic principle of Wabi-Sabi, the Japanese philosophy of accepting your imperfections and making the most of life.

“Wabi” is said to be defined as “rustic simplicity” or “understated elegance” with a focus on a less-is-more mentality.

“Sabi” is translated to “taking pleasure in the imperfect.”

The concept of wabi-sabi, is wide and almost impossible to distill in a single post, but can easily be applied simply to moments of everyday life.

The relentless pursuit of perfection — in possessions, relationships, achievements — often leads to stress, anxiety, depression and hasty judgement.

This is where wabi-sabi invites a pause.

The Japanese philosophy encourages us to focus on the blessings hiding in our daily lives, and celebrating the way things are rather than how they should be.

Wabi-sabi prizes authenticity.

Wabi-Sabi is “a way of life that appreciates and accepts complexity while at the same time values simplicity,” writes Richard Powell in his book, Wabi Sabi Simple.

Richard says it acknowledges three simple realities:

“Nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect.”

In Zen philosophy, there are seven aesthetic principles in achieving wabi-sabi:

• Kanso — simplicity

• Fukinsei — asymmetry or irregularity

• Shibumi — beauty in the understated

• Shizen — naturalness without pretense

• Yugen — subtle grace

• Datsuzoku — freeness

• Seijaku — tranquility

The timeless wisdom of wabi-sabi is more relevant now than ever for modern life, as we search for meaning and fulfillment beyond materialism.

Wabi-sabi is like minimalism with a conscious choice.

The concept has its roots in the traditional Japanese tea ceremony.

A common explanation is the example of a well-loved teacup, made by an artist’s hands, cracked or chipped by constant use.

Such traces remind the observer that nothing is permanent — even fixed objects are subject to change.

A great example of wabi-sabi in creativity is the art of kintsugi, where cracked pottery is filled with gold dusted lacquer as a way to showcase the beauty of its age and damage rather than hiding it.

The fault is not hidden but highlighted.

This is not to say the Craftsman was sloppy (wabi-sabi isn’t an excuse for poor craftsmanship). Wabi-sabi draws attention to the cracks in a tea cup as part of the beauty of the object.

In his book The Unknown Craftsman, Soetsu Yanagi argues that imperfections are necessary for a full appreciation of the object and the world.

We in our own human imperfections are repelled by the perfect, since everything is apparent from the start and there is no suggestion of the infinite.

Wabi-sabi is everywhere, you just need to know how to look, and what to do to embrace the concept in your life.

The cracks in the old teacup are seen as assets rather than flaws.

“Wabi-sabi is a different kind of looking, a different kind of mindset,” explains Robyn Griggs Lawrence, author of Simply Imperfect: Revisiting the Wabi-Sabi House. “It’s the true acceptance of finding beauty in things as they are,” he says.

What does it take to embrace Wabi-sabi in your life?

Robyn explains that you don’t money, or special skills to appreciate your imperfections and make the most of life.

Bringing wabi-sabi into your life doesn’t require money, training, or special skills. It takes a mind quiet enough to appreciate muted beauty, courage not to fear bareness, willingness to accept things as they are — without ornamentation. It depends on the ability to slow down, to shift the balance from doing to being, to appreciating rather than perfecting.

Mike Sturm says Wabi-sabi is about accepting yourself and building on what you already have in life. He writes.

Embracing wabi-sabi is as easy (or as difficult) as understanding and accepting yourself — imperfections and all. It’s about being compassionate with yourself as you are, and building on whatever that is — not feverishly trying to rebuild yourself in order to pose as something else entirely.

Today, appreciation of the things we have, people we love, and the experiences we have the opportunity to weave into our lives is losing value.

Wabi-sabi represents a precious cache of wisdom that values tranquillity, harmony, beauty and imperfection, and can strengthen your resilience in the face of materialism.

It gently motions you to relax, slow down, step back from the hectic modern world and find enjoyment and gratitude in everything you do.

Put simply, wabi-sabi gives you permission to be yourself.

Embrace the perfection of being imperfectly you.

Source: https://www.theladders.com/career-advice/wabi-sabi-the-japanese-philosophy-for-a-perfectly-imperfect-life