一念地狱一念天堂

适逢居家隔离满月,晚上借着微醺的酒意,来跟大家分享新近的一些观察和思考。回望过往几年,很多事让我始料未及——亲朋离世、疫情反复、意外骨折、外派遇阻……我开始更深刻地认同和接受「诸行无常」

我们存活于世是有条件的,而有条件的事物往往变化无常。正是因为无常,人容易产生各种各样情绪。情绪的波动又让我们产生偏见、执念和分别心,以致陷入困惑和苦恼。人无法与情绪脱节,那么面对困境我们又有哪些出路呢?

拿上海当下的封城来说,这就是一个困局。许多生活和工作中的挑战亟需借助外力来解决,但也有不少困难可以通过「转念」来应对。

什么是「转念」?大家是否还记得,早年推出的几款 iPod 都是不锈钢背壳的?2004 年的圣诞节,我做梦也没有想到照片里的 iPod 会是父母送给我的新年礼物。在 MP3 随身听还是用「兆」作为存储单位的年代,iPod 那时的 20 GB 显得非常阔绰。我对它爱不释手,每天揣在兜里形影不离。久而久之,不锈钢背壳和口袋里的硬币、钥匙摩擦,留下了许多印迹。那个起初完美无瑕的 iPod 看着真是「遍体鳞伤」,这令我非常后悔没有给它套上个保护壳……机缘巧合下,我读到了乔布斯的一段话,他说生命的意义在于 「making a dent in the universe」 (在宇宙中创造属于你的印记)。原来早在产品开发阶段,乔布斯就知道不锈钢容易刮花。而这背壳材料的选择是他力排众议、刻意而为之的。他解释道:「刮花背壳使得你的 iPod 独一无二,留下了只属于你的烙印。」说来也神奇,自此往后,我再也没有因为印迹斑斑的 iPod 而纠结难过。先前恼人的划痕反而因为是我的「dents」而越看越顺眼了。

此时你的心里是否在嘀咕,这「转念」不就是阿 Q 的精神胜利法吗?我想它俩是有相似之处的——看待事物的角度变了,心境也就随之改变;但本质上,它们又是不同的。「转念」不是为了自我麻痹和陶醉,而是为了追求意义和发展。

在科技互联网公司,我们常常会听到一句话:「It’s not a bug, it’s a feature!」(这不是问题,是卖点!)。这周我跟加州的老板连线,她也分享了类似的观点:「If you can not fix it, make it a feature!」(如果改变不了它,就将它利用起来!)身处在居家隔离中的我们,足不能出户,食不能果腹……该如何「转念」才能拥抱现状、找到破局的出口呢?
限制性条件其实是把双刃剑,它带来束缚,也可以促进创新。新鲜的蔬菜瓜果现在的确采购困难,但相信多数上海市民还没有窘迫到「无米之炊」的地步,我们不妨利用接下来几周尝试些新食谱——让不曾混搭的食材去组合,用同样的食材配合不一样的烹饪。再比如,许多男生也许和我一样每隔两三周就得理一次发(我本身发量有限,如果长长了就会显得头顶稀疏)。现在小区封闭管理,距离我上次理发已逾六周。看着我两鬓「长势如虹」,头顶却「巍然不动」,再这么发展下去,讲不准哪天我就拿起剃刀,培养出「理发」这门新手艺了。

玩笑归玩笑,我相信若干年后再回想起这个把月的居家隔离,我们中不少人会追忆和怀念。老中青三代同堂、抬头不见低头见的亲密时光人生中又有多少?特别是对于那些全身心扑在事业上的创业奋斗者,过往峥嵘岁月中哪有如此「着家」?而对于那些独居的单身男女们,习惯了都市的喧嚣和快节奏的生活,可否也曾想要一段「向内走」的静谧时光?还有平时很少打交道的邻居们,是否也因为这段封城的日子而彼此熟络起来了?
「转念」一想,居家隔离似乎也没有那么糟?!

P.S. 推文图片来自好友老张。借此也特别感谢疫情期间探望慰问的朋友们!祝大家健康平安!🙏

The Hill We Climb

by Amanda Gorman

When day comes we ask ourselves,

where can we find light in this never-ending shade?

The loss we carry,

a sea we must wade

We’ve braved the belly of the beast

We’ve learned that quiet isn’t always peace

And the norms and notions

of what just is

Isn’t always just-ice

And yet the dawn is ours

before we knew it

Somehow we do it

Somehow we’ve weathered and witnessed

a nation that isn’t broken

but simply unfinished

We the successors of a country and a time

Where a skinny Black girl

descended from slaves and raised by a single mother

can dream of becoming president

only to find herself reciting for one

And yes we are far from polished

far from pristine

but that doesn’t mean we are

striving to form a union that is perfect

We are striving to forge a union with purpose

To compose a country committed to all cultures, colors, characters and

conditions of man

And so we lift our gazes not to what stands between us

but what stands before us

We close the divide because we know, to put our future first,

we must first put our differences aside

We lay down our arms

so we can reach out our arms

to one another

We seek harm to none and harmony for all

Let the globe, if nothing else, say this is true:

That even as we grieved, we grew

That even as we hurt, we hoped

That even as we tired, we tried

That we’ll forever be tied together, victorious

Not because we will never again know defeat

but because we will never again sow division

Scripture tells us to envision

that everyone shall sit under their own vine and fig tree

And no one shall make them afraid

If we’re to live up to our own time

Then victory won’t lie in the blade

But in all the bridges we’ve made

That is the promise to glade

The hill we climb

If only we dare

It’s because being American is more than a pride we inherit,

it’s the past we step into

and how we repair it

We’ve seen a force that would shatter our nation

rather than share it

Would destroy our country if it meant delaying democracy

And this effort very nearly succeeded

But while democracy can be periodically delayed

it can never be permanently defeated

In this truth

in this faith we trust

For while we have our eyes on the future

history has its eyes on us

This is the era of just redemption

We feared at its inception

We did not feel prepared to be the heirs

of such a terrifying hour

but within it we found the power

to author a new chapter

To offer hope and laughter to ourselves

So while once we asked,

how could we possibly prevail over catastrophe?

Now we assert

How could catastrophe possibly prevail over us?

We will not march back to what was

but move to what shall be

A country that is bruised but whole,

benevolent but bold,

fierce and free

We will not be turned around

or interrupted by intimidation

because we know our inaction and inertia

will be the inheritance of the next generation

Our blunders become their burdens

But one thing is certain:

If we merge mercy with might,

and might with right,

then love becomes our legacy

and change our children’s birthright

So let us leave behind a country

better than the one we were left with

Every breath from my bronze-pounded chest,

we will raise this wounded world into a wondrous one

We will rise from the gold-limbed hills of the west,

we will rise from the windswept northeast

where our forefathers first realized revolution

We will rise from the lake-rimmed cities of the midwestern states,

we will rise from the sunbaked south

We will rebuild, reconcile and recover

and every known nook of our nation and

every corner called our country,

our people diverse and beautiful will emerge,

battered and beautiful

When day comes we step out of the shade,

aflame and unafraid

The new dawn blooms as we free it

For there is always light,

if only we’re brave enough to see it

If only we’re brave enough to be it

改变,从我开始!

斯敏斯特教堂又名西敏寺(Westminster Abbey),它坐落在伦敦泰晤士河北岸,毗邻议会大厦,它是英国国教的礼拜堂,自1066年起它成为历代国王加冕与安息之地。除了王室成员外,很多名人也都安葬于此,包括牛顿、丘吉尔、达尔文等。威斯敏斯特修道院中上帝与科学家比邻而居,国王与文人相携长眠。生与死的边界在这里模糊、世俗与宗教在这里交融、王权与教权在这里碰撞、科学与神学在这里共存、人性与神性在这里同放光辉。

在教堂地下室的墓碑林中,有一块不起眼的花岗石墓碑,上面没有姓名,没有生卒年月,甚至连墓主的介绍文字也没有。在这块碑上,刻着这样的一段话:

原文:
 
When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world.
 
As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. But it, too, seemed immovable.
 
As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it.
 
And now, as I lie on my death bed, I suddenly realize:
 
If I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country, and who knows, I may have even changed the world.
 
译文:
 
当我年轻的时候,我的想象力从没有受到过限制,我梦想改变这个世界。
 
当我成熟以后,我发现我不能改变这个世界,我将目光缩短了些,决定只改变我的国家。
 
当我进入暮年后,我发现我不能改变我的国家,我的最后愿望仅仅是改变一下我的家庭。但是,这也不可能。
 
当我躺在床上,行将就木时,我突然意识到:
 
如果一开始我仅仅去改变我自己,然后作为一个榜样,我可能改变我的家庭;在家人的帮助和鼓励下,我可能为国家做一些事情。然后谁知道呢?我甚至可能改变这个世界。
有人说这是一篇人生的教义,有人说这是灵魂的一种自省。10多年前我初入职场,读到这篇时一笑而过,踌躇满志着要像乔布斯一样改变世界;今天再读来似乎更能产生共鸣,从好高骛远到脚踏实地,开始逐渐懂得不积硅步无以至千里的道理。当我们自身的心智模式变了,世界也会随之改变。
 
改变,从改变自己开始。回归当下,坐言立行。与诸位共勉!

3 Lessons on Decision-Making from a Poker Champion

#Key Points

Like poker, life is also a gmae of skill and luck.

Biggest things we care about – health, walth and relationships – these outcomes don’t only depend on the quality of our decision-making, but also the roll of life’s dice.

When we’re experiencing success, it’s important to take a moment to really ask ourselves how much of it is truly down to us, because our egos love to downplay the luck factor when we’re winning.

Our intuitions are’t nearly as perfect as we’d like to believe. In reality, our gut is extremely vulunerable to all kinds of wishful thinking and biases.

While we shouldn’t ignore our intuitions, we shouldn’t over priviledge them either.

Success is sweetest when you achieve it across a large sample size.

You gut is your friend and so is a cost-benefit analysis.

The future is unknown, but you can damn well try and estimate it.

佳文共赏:马克·吐温「密西西比河上的生活」

Summer Sunrises on the Mississippi

by Mark Twain

One can never see too many summer sunrises on the Mississippi. They are enchanting. First, there is the eloquence of silence; for a deep hush broods everywhere. Next, there is the haunting sense of loneliness, isolation, remoteness from the worry and bustle of the world. The dawn creeps in stealthily; the solid walls of the black forest soften to grey, and vast stretches of the river open up and reveal themselves; the water is smooth, gives off spectral little wreaths of white-mist, there is not the faintest breath of wind, nor stir of leaf; the tranquility is profound and infinitely satisfying. Then a bird pipes up, another follows, and soon the pipings develop into a jubilant riot of music. You see none of the birds, you simply move through an atmosphere of song which seems to sing itself. When the light has become a little stronger, you have one of the fairest and softest pictures imaginable. You have the intense green of the massed and crowded foliage nearby; you see it paling shade by shade in front of you; upon the next projecting cape, a mile off or more, the tint has lightened to the tender young green of spring; the cape beyond that one has almost lost colour, and the furthest one, miles away under the horizon, sleeps upon the water a mere dim vapour, and hardly separable from the sky above it and about it. And all this stretch of river is a mirror, and you have shadowy reflections of the leafage and the curving shores and the receding capes pictured in it.

Well, this is all beautiful; soft and rich and beautiful; and when the sun gets well up, and distributes a pink flush here and a powder of gold yonder and a purple haze where it will yield the best effect, you grant that you have something that is worth remembering.

马克·吐温(Mark Twain1835.11.30~1910.4.21

美国作家、演说家,真实姓名是萨缪尔·兰亨·克莱门(Samuel Langhorne Clemens)。“马克·吐温”是他的笔名,原是密西西比河水手使用的表示在航道上所测水的深度的术语。代表作品有小说《百万英镑》《哈克贝利·费恩历险记》《汤姆·索亚历险记》等。

「密西西比河上的生活」是马克·吐温早期的一部自传体小说。就像是一位密西西比河的探索者,他不断观察丰富的河面变化,学习辨识潜在的危险。其实是马克·吐温成为作家之前的理想就是成为职业舵手。他曾拜师学艺,不断学习有关河流的知识,观察在河流上发生的一切,培养自己在河流上的敏锐度。

今天选摘的这一段“日出”,能够看到他是以怎样诗化的语言和细密的观察去描述一条河上的风景的。优美、节制又不乏活泼自然的英文完全是同类写作的典范。

最后分享马克·吐温最耳熟能详的一句名言,与君共勉。

永远要像你不需要金钱那样地工作,永远要像你不曾被伤害过那样地爱,永远要像没有人在注视你那样地跳舞,永远要像在天堂那样地生活。

Things to GIVE UP to be successful!

2018 年伊始,转载一篇 Medium.com 上的文章,希望大家在设定新年企划时参考。作者 Zdravko Cvijetic 是一位时间管理大师,在网络上很有影响力,感兴趣的朋友可以关注他的博客 zerotoskill.com。

Somebody once told me the definition of hell: “On your last day on earth, the person you became will meet the person you could have become. — Anonymus

Sometimes, to become successful, we do not need to add more things, we need to give up on some of them.

Even though each one of us has a different definition of success, there are certain things that are universal, which, if you give up on them, you will be more successful.

Some of them you can give up today, while it might take a bit longer for others.

1. Give Up On The Unhealthy Lifestyle

Take care of your body. It is the only place you have to live. — Jim Rohn

If you want to achieve anything in life, everything starts here. First, you have to take care of your health, and there are only two things you need to keep in mind:

  1. Healthy Diet
  2. Physical Activity

Small steps, but you will thank yourself one day.

2. Give Up The Short-term Mindset

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. — Mae West

Successful people set long-term goals, and they know that these aims are merely the result of short-term habits that they need to do every day.

These healthy habits should not be something you do; they should be something you are.

There is a difference between: “Working out to have summer body” and “Working out because that is who you are.”

3. Give Up Playing Small

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone, and as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others. – Marianne Williamson

If you never try and take great opportunities, or allow your dreams to become realities, you will never realize your true potential.

Moreover, the world will never benefit from what you could have achieved.

So voice your ideas, don’t be afraid to fail, and certainly don’t be afraid to succeed.

4. Give Up Your Excuses

It is not about the cards you are dealt, but how you play the hand. – Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

Successful people know that they are responsible for their life, no matter their starting point, weaknesses, and past failures.

Realizing that you are entirely responsible for what happens next in your life, is both frightening and exciting.

However, it is the only way that you can reach the success because excuses limit and prevent us from growing personally and professionally.

Own your life; no one else will.

5. Give Up The Fixed Mindset

The future belongs to those who learn more skills and combine them in creative ways.  ― Robert Greene, Mastery

In a fixed mindset, people believe that their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits and that talent alone creates success — without effort. They are wrong.

Moreover, successful people know this. They invest an immense amount of time on a daily basis to develop a growth mindset, acquire new knowledge, learn new skills and change their perception so that it can benefit their lives.

Remember, who you are today, it is not whom you have to be tomorrow.

6. Give Up Believing In The “Magic Bullet.”

Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better. — Émile Coué

Overnight success is a myth.

Successful people know that making small continuous improvement every day, will be compounded over time, and give them desired results.

That why you should plan for the future, but focus on the day that’s ahead of you, and improve just 1%.

7. Give Up Your Perfectionism

Shipping beats perfection. — Kahn Academy’s Development Mantra

Nothing will ever be perfect, no matter how much we try.

Fear of failure (or even fear of success) often prevents us from taking action and putting our creation out there in the world. However, many opportunities will be lost if we wait for things to be right.

So, “ship,” and then improve (that 1%).

8. Give Up Multi-tasking

You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.  ― Winston S. Churchill

Successful people know this. That is why they choose one thing and then beat it into submission. No matter what, a business idea, a conversation, or a workout.

Being fully present and committed to one task, is indispensable.

9. Give Up Your Need to Control Everything

Some things are up to us, and some things are not up to us. — Epictetus, Stoic philosopher

Differentiating these two is important.

Detach from the things you cannot control, and focus on the ones you can, and know that sometimes, the only thing you will be able to monitor is your attitude towards something.

Moreover, remember, nobody can be frustrated while saying “Bubbles” in an angry voice.

10. Give Up Saying YES To Things That Don’t Support Your Goals

He who would accomplish little must sacrifice little; he who would achieve much must sacrifice much; he who would attain highly must sacrifice greatly. — James Allen

Successful people know this that to accomplish their goals, they will have to say NO to tasks, activities, and demands from your friends, family, and colleagues.

On a short-term, you might sacrifice a bit of instant gratification, but when your goals come to fruition, it will be worth it.

11. Give Up The Toxic People

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. – Jim Rohn

People we spend the most time with, add up to whom we become.

There are less ambitious people, and there are more ambitious people than us. If you spend time with the ones that are less driven than you, your average will go down, and with it your success.

However, if you spend time with people more advanced than you, no matter how challenging that might be, you will be more successful.

Take a look at around yourself, and see if you need to make any changes.

12. Give Up Your Need To Be Liked

The only way to avoid pissing people off is to do nothing important. — Oliver Emberton

Think of yourself as a market niche.

There will be many people that like that niche, but there will be individuals who do not, and no matter what you do, you will not be able to make an entire market like you.

This is entirely natural, and there’s no need to do anything to justify yourself.

The only thing you can do is continue being authentic, and know that growing number of “haters” means that you are doing important things.

13. Give Up Your Dependency on The Social Media & Television

The trouble is, you think you have time. — Jack Kornfield

Impulsive web browsing and television watching is a disease of today’s society.

These two should never be an escape from your life or your goals.

Unless your goals depend on either, you should minimize (or eliminate) your dependency on them. Moreover, direct that time towards things that can enrich your life.

Call To Action

If you want to increase your productivity and eliminate procrastination, check out the free guides below.

  1. The Ultimate Productivity Cheat Sheet – Readdle Edition
  2. New Year’s Resolution Worksheet